January 13, 2010

Why You Will Never Win the "Blame Game"... How to
Negotiate with Others in a Positive Way... Choosing the Right
Direction at Life's Crossroads... Will Info Marketing Success
Go to Your Head?... and More.

I know a lot of people. Some of them are very successful because they work hard and never stop striving to better themselves. These are the people whom I respect and whose opinions matter most to me.

Others are doing well because they've been handed everything on a silver platter and really have never had to work hard in their lives. These aren't bad people. In fact, some of these people are very good friends. But I don't see these people in the same light as I do to the hard workers I know and sometimes shake my head in amazement when they tell me about how much money they've spent, knowing full well it came from an early inheritance.

Then there are those who are hard working, but aren't necessarily financially successful. These, too, are good friends who have made the choice to do the 9-to-5, live a humble lifestyle and are basically satisfied with their lives. I respect these friends because -- not to sound like some elitist jerk -- they're honest, hard-working and they will always give me a straight answer.

Finally, and this is the point of my message, there are the people I know who aren't hard-working and aren't financially successful -- dare I say they're financially struggling -- who are quick to blame other people or factors for their hardships. These are the people who I try to block out.

A prime example is one person I know whom I'll call Tony. Tony is 40 years old and is currently unemployed. He was a contractor, but had to stop because his back started to hurt. He got a job at a home renovation store, but was fired because he was telling customers to not use their services and that he would do the work on the side.

He blamed a co-worker for snitching on him, even though he knew that offering to do the job himself was against policy. I thought it was also strange that he was offering renovation services even though he claimed he had a bad back. His answer was that he could tolerate it some of the time.

He's now at home, trying to find work. He's done a few odd jobs in contracting, but can't get repeat business because he works too slow, is unreliable, and does less-than-acceptable work. He blames his previous employer for not being able to put them down as a reference on his resume, he blames his previous customers for giving him unrealistic deadlines and expectations for the work he was requested, and he blames the current economy for not being able to even look for work.

The most important lesson I've ever learned in life is to take responsibility for your own actions. Yes, there have been times where I've not been given a fair shake or been taken advantage of. It might not have been my fault that I got into the situation I was in, but it certainly would've been my fault if I didn't try to get out of it.

I look at others who have been in far worse situations than I've ever been in and succeeded. Sure, they might've had every right to blame someone else for their bad break. But instead, they chose to work hard to defy their obstacles and oppressions. Those are the people who are successful.

If you've been hard-done-by or given "the short end of the stick" and it truly wasn't your fault, don't play the blame game. You'll never win. Instead, turn around, pick yourself up and keep fighting. You might be pushed down again, but if you keep going, take responsibility for your actions, good or bad, and you will wind up a winner.

When negotiating with another individual for something that you want, you will most likely encounter resistance. People are not going to just hand you all the things you want on a silver platter just because you asked them nicely! If it were that easy, we would all be multi-millionaires. The key is to negotiate with another person in a positive way that makes them feel good about themselves and their decision to help you out. How do you do this? Simple. Just have a look at my three tips below for negotiating in a positive way.

1. Always Be Respectful During Negotiations:
The most important aspect of negotiating with another person involves respect. You should always show respect to the other party involved in negotiations. No ifs, ands or buts about it -- if you are disrespectful to the person, then you shouldn't expect them to want to help you. Would you help out a person who was disrespecting you? Of course not! So always remain respectful, courteous and polite. It will pay off every time.

2. Be Willing to Compromise:
When in negotiations, you will naturally want to get your way. That's why we negotiate -- to come out on top and to win what it is that we are striving to obtain. But keep in mind that being willing to compromise, to give up something you want, or to change your terms can greatly impact whether you get anything at all. Just because somebody is willing to negotiate with you does not mean that they will inevitably give you what you want -- or anything at all. Keep this in mind. Giving some leeway will not only show the other person that you respect them, but also that you want to close the deal in a way that will keep you both satisfied. This will also improve your situation in future negotiations with the individual.

3. Listen to the Other Party:
I cannot stress this point enough. When negotiating with another individual, it is absolutely imperative that you listen to what they have to say. This goes beyond hearing their words -- truly internalize what they are telling you, keep the lines of communication open, and make eye contact with the other person. Nothing halts negotiations faster than when the other party feels that his or her needs and concerns are not being heard.

At some point in our careers, much like in our lives, we will come to a crossroads. Big decisions will have to be made that will determine the direction, size and success of our businesses. No matter what, these decisions will be quite difficult.

A few years ago, I was forced to make a monumental business decision. Essentially, I had three options. The first was to sell the business. A part-owner (with more money than my other partner and myself) made an offer to buy us out. We felt, however, that his offer was on the low end of the scale. When we talked about this at the negotiating table, we also learned that we no longer particularly trusted this man.

Another option was for my existing partner and myself to buy the business outright. The business, was at a point where it was doing quite well, but to continue growing to the next level, would take a large investment. This meant that we would have to go out and secure more capital, while at the same time reducing our salaries in order to pump as much money into the business -- and repay investors as quickly as we could.

Finally, we could keep the business at the same size it was currently. This was the worst option we felt, because we knew of its potential. The fact was that we were receiving orders we could no longer afford to keep up with. By investing and growing the business, we would be giving ourselves some short-term pain for some long-term gain. In addition, it's quite hard for an entrepreneur to walk away from an opportunity that still poses big-time moneymaking potential.

Coming up with the right decision to a lot of planning, talking, number-crunching, and debating. It was one of the most taxing, tiring and important decisions of my life. At the end of the day, however, I think it's safe to say all the hard work and thought that went into the decision paid off. We elected to buy the business ourselves, secure some capital, and grow it to the level we knew it would reach. Not only did we believe in the company, but we also had hard evidence to show us it would grow as expected.

When you're posed with one of these decisions that place you at a crossroads, it's important to recognize and analyze all of your options. Carefully assess what you stand to lose and gain, and make the best decision possible. It's a difficult task, but by putting the required work in and trusting yourself, you'll find the best way to come out on top. Don't get discouraged!

** Will Info Marketing Success Go to Your Head?
By James Burt, Online Marketing Expert

There's nothing more attractive than seeing someone do something they love. It's even more interesting and encouraging to see someone make a living at it. I've said it before, but I'll say it again: that's why info marketing is so great -- you dish out the info on something you love and get paid for it.

When some people get good at something, they can get pretty big-headed about it. How many painters have probably shouted "I am my own best critic!" at a cocktail reception surrounded by press and media types? How many people cursed Ricky Henderson out in 1991 when he broke the major league baseball stolen base record and celebrated by picking the base bag right off the ground, calling himself "the greatest of all time?" How many showoffs in high school did you meet, boasting their athletic, academic, or romantic prowess? It's tough to stomach and often just a bunch of hot air.

But I do think arrogance has a place, and it can be a great motivator for anyone in any capacity of their life. You want to be the best, right? Well, you have to love what you do and work hard. That should drive you at all times, whether you are raising your kids or are hard at work creating a new info marketing product. If you want to be the best, you have to earn it. Only then are you are free to boast about the great results you've achieved.

With that in mind, there are some philosophical factors that you quiz yourself on time and again. I would love to see every single info marketer reading this succeed and so I do my absolute best to pass on what I know in order for this to happen. Here are some good adages to use:

--- Look to the future, not to the past: In info marketing, as in any other business, you are going to have good days and bad days. You will see some great peaks and some low valleys in relation to your success. It's just part of life. Whatever the circumstance, it's always best to keep looking ahead. A lot of info marketers either let their failures get the best of them or allow their past successes to be the indicator of everything to come. Always keep working towards the future and keep setting new goals for yourself. It will keep your work fresh and your personal drive for excellence going at all times.

--- Keep your ego in check: Have you achieved success with info marketing? Is the money rolling in? Are you enjoying living the good life in your home office while your friends are still slaving away at the office? Fantastic. Just a note: don't let it go to your head. Success is great, but never absolute. Don't dwell on what you've done and embellish how great you are. Keep an eye on the road ahead and look for ways to sustain your success. Remember: you want to keep this success going again and again and again.

--- Perform the "stranger test" on everything you write: I can't remember who told me this, but I was given a piece of advice about writing that has stuck in my brain for ages. It's the "stranger test" and it means that you should always write as if you were going to have a complete stranger read what you wrote. The classic scenario is that you drop what you've written on the ground and a stranger picks it up, reads it, and within seconds understands exactly what you've written. The late guitarist Les Paul always asked: "Can your mother recognize you on the radio?" when telling musicians to develop their own style. These are good scenarios to keep in mind when doing up your info products. Too often info marketers get carried away when they get successful and their writing starts to get overly complicated. Don't let this happen to you. Keep your writing as consistent and as clear as possible. When in doubt, get someone else to read it for you. A good "stranger" like your spouse or buddy can always keep your writing skills in check.

--- Keep your info fresh: Whatever your info topic is, it's good to try to keep getting new info about it all of the time. Obviously, this can be challenging, especially if you're writing content about items that don't change with current times and trends. But don't let this get you down. You can always be in contact with who knows something more about your topic than you do and, with all of the Internet, library, and archived info sources these days, there's no reason why you can't be getting fresh info on your topic all of the time. A friend and fellow marketer griped to me over a Saturday beer last month that he couldn't write any new content on his topic of antique furniture. Frustrated with his complaining, I took him to the local library and showed him all of the new books on antique furniture marketplaces and put him in contact with a condo firm redesigning an old local church that was doing furniture refurbishment as part of its condo deals. He later apologized for his pessimism, and noted how many new ideas he had.

Info marketing is challenging, no question. It requires determination, devotion and focus. Basically: hard work. But it's not a field where you can achieve success overnight. If you keep working at it with the same love that you've done time and again, while always trying to do the best job you can, your success will come back repeatedly.